Are #fitcouples really #relationshipgoals? You've probably seen it on Instagram or Facebook or any of the other hundreds of social media outlets we now have and it usually starts with two little hashtags; #fitcouple #relationshipgoals
Couples who "workout together" posting photos of their fit, chiselled bodies, in a loving, sweaty embrace with the perfect lighting, so they look like models (they probably are) and are oozing the essence of love and sex all up in your grill.
Move over Romeo and Juliet, love is now about reps, sets, bis, tris, abs, and buns hun.
Forget the fairytale and the romance, it's all about the "fit-tale", "rep-mance" and announcing your undying love for each other and the gym in one, no hundreds, of perfectly edited Instagram posts for all to see.
This is where the problems can start, with these two little hashtags; #fitcouple #relationshipgoals
I'm a bit of a Sociologist.
I love studying people and changes in the generations to generations and how our developments in technology fuel new ideas of social acceptance, or, as we call it, "life goals".
There has been a significant shift and change over the last 10 years or so about what my generation should be working towards. Gen Y, in particular, are currently the front runners for change, breaking the model of 9-5 work days, office structure, entrepreneurship, and travel.
But we are also breaking the mould of the ideals of relationships.
The goals are no longer the house, the marriage, the 3 kids and the dog in the suburbs. People are getting married later, having kids later (or fur babies), travelling more and forgetting about the mortgage.
Of course, economic change has contributed to this, but so has technology.
Online dating, social media, and an importance of work-life balance have brought things like health and fitness or more importantly the ‘look of health and fitness' into a higher priority on people’s goals list.
We are now more concerned about looking like we have it all, then actually having it all.
I cannot tell you the countless times I've seen men and women post photos and videos of fit couples, doing couple workouts and sharing it with the world as their relationship goal.
I myself have probably done something similar in the past until I realised something. These fit couples are most likely making these videos or taking these pictures for attention. They might have a business or product that they might want to sell and they are using their bodies and relationship to do that. There is a difference in sharing your relationship on social media and exploiting it. You don't know if they have fun and grow as a couple sharing these posts or if they argue the whole time.
Or are they trying to fix their relationship by showing the world they are happy and amazing when they really aren't?
Regardless of what they are doing, it doesn't matter, because unfortunately, this is actually about you! And you are the person being sucked into this idea of the #fitcouple and creating this unrealistic dream of what that relationship is.
Have you ever thought, whether you're single or in a relationship, in posting these kinds of images or videos, what message it would be sending to your future partner?
The moment I took a step back and thought about what I was posting is the moment I also stopped doing it.
If I am a single girl who is always posting photos and images of #fitcouples and telling the world (and all potential great amazing men out there) that these are my #relationshipgoals, how many guys would approach me, or better yet, what kind of guy would approach me?
Flip it for a second.
Ladies if you were into someone and all you see is them post (and yes we all do a little stalkbook) photos of beautiful fit girls in bikinis, with the abs, boobs, and glutes… how does that affect your confidence?
Would you even approach your crush?
I'm telling my potential, great, amazing man out there, that unless he's built, has a six-pack, is ripped, and goes to the gym 24/7, he has no chance with me. I want someone with a brain and love over a six-pack, so why would I send the world different message?
Instead of thinking how you want your relationship to be seen publicly , how about you start thinking about the relationship you want that no one can see. Work on that!
Single people aren't the only ones to blame either, as I have seen couples send out the same message.
Just take a moment and think...
If you are shouting out this kind of #fitcouple idea to the world and haven't discussed it with your partner, imagine how they would feel when they do see it, or hear about it. Personally, if my man was posting photos of a fit couple with the hashtag #relationshipgoals or that kind of implication, I'd be wondering why he needs to post that and what's going on in our relationship. Not to mention I'd feel incredibly hurt and that I'm not good enough.
It's a great idea to have goals and standards for your relationships, it's important for not only your happiness but also the happiness of your partner. However, if you are holding onto an idea or visual of what the ultimate couple looks like you may be in for more heartache and loneliness then you think.
Communication is always key in any relationship.
If you are taking on a new fitness goal or have a health and fitness standard in your life that's important to you, then you need to share that with your partner (or future partner), and they can decide whether it's something for them.
Make sure it's well rounded because "You have to look like an underwear model" might turn some amazing partners off….
But hey, only you know what you want from a relationship, just make sure you are making it your own and not recreating an unrealistic relationship picture from Instagram.